In general, by virtue of their social nature, humans need to be close to others and to form intimate relationships with them. Children are no exception to this rule. Many specialists emphasize that children who lack peer relationship skills, during their youth (adolescence) and then adulthood, are exposed to difficult problems in the field of social adaptation.
Children who are able to form friendships with peers are generally characterized by the following:
1- Understanding what they and others do in terms of their actions in terms of goals and results, and they often express this understanding with phrases such as: Sorry, I’m sorry, or thank you very much.
2- Proposing positive behavioral suggestions and alternatives to others.
3- Helping others when needed.
4- Contributing to the activities of others.
5- Exchanging opinions and information with others.
6- Expressing their needs and desires clearly.
7- Seeking additional information to clarify the intentions and desires of others.
8- Avoiding the love of showing off.
9- Participating in the ongoing conversation of the family and peers, without entering into the conversation about another new topic.
10- The ability to find common interests (hobbies, desires, needs, activities, experiences or personal characteristics) with peers.
What the family can do, in addition to the above, to encourage, help and follow up with them in establishing friendships with peers, is the following:
1- Always be warm, caring or personally interested and encouraging the children in everything they do, including their relationships with peers.
2- Psychological and social closeness to the children, and maintaining regular, safe and intimate parental relationships with them, as a result of which they turn to establishing similar relationships with peers of their age.
3- The family maintains strong, positive, and purposeful friendships with others by paying attention to and allowing children to experience these relationships, and copying them to establish relationships with peers. Parents and older siblings serve as role models for children in their friendships with peers.
4- The family follows up on children in their relationships and friendships with peers by asking by name about their friends, desires, hobbies, strengths, and children’s feelings and impressions about each of them.
5- Responding to children’s inquiries, confusion, and ambiguity about their friends, by exchanging opinions with them, clarifying and justifying: why and how what happened happened, interpreting friends’ feelings, and helping children understand that.
6- Teaching children to always be patient and consciously reflect when making judgments about their peer friends and relationships with them, and children’s interpretation of the behavior or actions of these friends.
7- Teaching children ways, methods, and positions to respect others, especially when opinions or desires conflict or differ with others, especially friends.
8- Providing realistic, spontaneous (unorganized) opportunities for children outside the family, under direct or indirect supervision of the family, through play situations and open activities with peers in the neighborhood and school, and school events such as field trips, visits, and national occasions. During these social experiences, the family and teachers observe the skills and weaknesses in their relationships for children and peers, and reinforce what is necessary.
9- The family raises children in an atmosphere filled with warmth, encouragement, support, and reinforcement, and realistic opportunities to form friendships with peers, from the children’s early childhood.. that is, from early childhood. One specialized study indicates that children usually need a period of 7-8 years to develop and refine their various skills required to form friendships with peers and establish their abilities to maintain and preserve them.
Hence, we emphasize to the family the importance of providing a positive family climate, and opportunities for training and realistic experimentation for children, in establishing healthy friendships with peers early in their early childhood before school… so that children can then, in elementary school and beyond, take the initiative and rush to establish healthy friendships with peers.